The PhDs that did not choose me
I felt rejected when applications in Basel and Lausanne did not work out. At the time, each closed door looked like evidence about my value. Later, the path led me to the UK, through hardship, growth and eventually the doctorate in plasma physics I had wanted.
“A closed door can redirect a life without defining the person standing before it.”
The benefit does not erase the pain
A later opportunity does not make the original rejection pleasant or fair. It changes the meaning I assign to it. The event became one turn in a longer route rather than the final judgment on my capacity.
Return to expression
Fear of rejection had encouraged me to remain in the shadow. The new practice is not to become insensitive. It is to remain able to speak, apply, publish and connect after a ‘no.’ A warrior can be wounded by an outcome without handing it authority over the next step.
Train recovery from no
Rejection hurts because belonging and opportunity matter. Resilience is not becoming indifferent; it is shortening the distance between disappointment and renewed expression. A closed door can be information about fit, timing or preparation without becoming a verdict on worth.
Try this: choose one past rejection. Write what was outside your control, what feedback is genuinely useful and what new direction became possible. Then make one fresh request, application or invitation at a level that stretches you without turning exposure into self-punishment.
Recall one rejection that later changed your direction. Name the strength, relationship or opportunity that became possible afterward.
This original letter is one of Yacopo's personal reflections from the courses and practices he continues to study as part of becoming better and better. Each lesson is tested through his lived experience in science, Kung Fu, relationships and the Spartan Monk Method.
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